Sometimes it Just Doesn’t Pay to be Busty May 7, 2009

It seems that British retailer Marks & Spencer, commonly shortened to M&S, charges extra for larger bras.

Which, not surprisingly, has really ticked off a lot of busty women.

M&S charges two pounds extra for bras over a DD cup, claiming it covers the cost of extra materials, wider straps, and better support. Regardless, it is still size discrimination.

I don’t sell bras, I sell (mostly) shoes. NONE of my suppliers charge extra for larger-than-average shoe sizes; that would be unethical. We can’t choose our shoe size (to a point – we can consciously avoid certain activities and unstructured footwear that cause the feet to spread, but that’s another subject for another day). And most women sure as hell don’t choose their bra size.

I’ve been cursed with a pair of 36DDs. Did I choose my bra size? No. And if given the choice I certainly would not have chosen anything bigger than a C cup.

Being busty is, frankly, a pain in the ass. And, for that matter, a pain in the back, a pain in the neck, and occasionally a pain in the chest, too.

I haven’t been able to stand up perfectly straight since age 12. I have suffered from chronic back pain (which, ironically, was mostly alleviated when I started wearing high heels) since age 15. If I want to buy a dress off the rack, I have to buy a size 12 (and occasionally a 14) even though the rest of my body can usually fit a 10. God help me if I want to buy a cute top; most of them look too skimpy for my figure. (Yes, I know how to sew…but I’m really, really tired of having to make all my own clothes.) Don’t get me started on how poorly-raised males (and the occasional jealous female) respond to large breasts.

The absolute worst part of being busty is bra shopping. I HATE BRA SHOPPING. It’s worse than swimsuit shopping. Lots of brick-and-mortar lingerie stores refuse to carry anything bigger than a C cup. Some of them will sell larger cup sizes online, and there are specialty retailers on the internet, but most busty women (myself included) resent not being able to try on a bra before buying it – and then being forced to pay for shipping, too.

Even if we find a bra that seems to be the correct size, most of the bigger ones are hideous. They look like white poly-blend torture devices for the chest! (For a rough idea of what the average bra over a C cup looks like, watch the “German Week” episode of “Are You Being Served?” and watch for Mrs. Slocombe and Miss Brahms unpacking the “bustenhalters.”) And, honestly, a lot of them feel like torture devices, too. The full-coverage ones are the worst offenders – ugly, heavy, uncomfortable, and especially unpleasant for busty women who aren’t big all over. Every time I try one on, the sides come up so high the underwires jab my armpits if I try to move.

To make matters worse, full-coverage large bras can cover a little TOO much skin, meaning we can’t even wear relatively modest boatneck tops without our bras peeking out. This is problematic not only because we have a hard enough time finding tops that fit, but also because when a larger chest is too covered-up, it makes the unlucky lady appear much heavier than she actually is. Just what we need – MORE bulk.

(Speaking of added bulk, can I just say that I really hate padded straps? They create little bumps in the shoulder line of every top – like we don’t have enough fit issues – and never stopped me from getting half-inch-deep bra-strap grooves in my shoulders.)

Of course, if we manage to find a sexy bra in our size that actually fits, it’s often just a scaled-up version of a bra designed for a B cup. The fact of the matter is, we do need *some* extra support, especially in the back. A skimpy thing with only two hooks might cut it in the boudoir if it isn’t going to be worn for long, but it’s not very practical for daily wear.

And seriously, what’s up with the recent dearth of colorful bras over a D cup? I was searching online for new bras the other day and was shocked to find that even biggerbras.com seems to be sticking with boring neutrals. Sure, every woman needs one good basic black bra (even me), but what’s up with all the white, brown, and beige? Do bra manufacturers (and retailers) suddenly think busty women don’t have any ’special friends’ who might appreciate seeing us in something pretty? (Although I myself am in a long-distance relationship and thus have few opportunities to flaunt what I’ve got, I prefer my underthings fire-engine-red, thank you very much.)

The bottom line is, it’s hard enough being a well-endowed lady. One would think that a British retailer such as M&S would “play fair” (fair play being of relatively high importance in British culture) and charge the same amount for a larger bra as they would for a smaller one.

Since M&S’s pricing discrepancy only affects bras over a DD cup, I myself would not have to pay extra for a M&S bra in my size, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find it grossly unfair. To Beckie Williams, the young woman who has taken action against M&S, I’d just like to say good luck.

P.S. Yes, I’ve considered getting a reduction. In fact, I BEGGED my parents to let me get a reduction when I was in high school. Even though I was in considerable pain most days, they thought I was too young, and their insurance refused to pay for the surgery. I could get one now if I came up with several thousand dollars, but it won’t reverse the damage to my spine, which was kind of the whole point.

P.P.S. I also looked into making my own bras. But, it’s difficult to find underwires and soft cups over a C cup, and then I’d have to fit it on myself, too. Ever try fitting something on yourself? It’s very difficult to do alone, especially with bras, since moving the arms to pin the material can make it too loose or too tight – and there’s also a high risk of sticking oneself with a straight pin. Ouch.